Monday Nights

On Monday nights I have been trying to spend time at The Harbor's Vocational Training Center. At the center we have a total of around 100 orphans visiting weekly to study and gain skills in the areas of cooking, ceramics, woodworking, hairdressing, photography and computers. I usually hang out with the kids in the computer class and help out as needed. The children who come on Mondays are from a type of "transition house". The state has decided that these children are not able to live with their birth families currently, but they may still have a chance to return home at a later point. On the flip side, some of these kids will be shifted to more permanent orphanages where they will be wards of the state until they are 23 years of age. Sometimes I don't know if my presence at the center does much at all to help these kids who have to deal with such serious issues and the inner turmoil that results from abandonment. I listen to their conversations and wish to God that these children did not have to wonder whether they will ever see their home again. One child will say to the other "Look, I think I have found a picture of the street where my house is online!". Another will reply, "Wow, you think you will live with your parents again!? I know I will end up in the orphanage." This is heavy stuff! I assist the kids with learning Microsoft Word or the basics of e-mail. I sit with the kids during dinner time, crack some jokes and make sure the young men aren't hitting each other at the table. But I wonder, "Is this helpful to them? Do they grow from their time at our center?". It is about that time that the kids have to pack up and go home (often an hour long journey on a bus through the snow!). We stand and say our goodbyes in the hallway and that is when I notice that little Igor, the kid who had needed a lot of help during computer class, is giving me a big hug on his way out the door. As they leave I, and my fellow workers at the center, realize that these kids need loving attention and presence first and foremost. I don't know the last time Igor got personalized attention or a hug from a male authority figure, but I know that these kids receive this and more during their time at The Harbor's Vocational Training Center. I am blessed to be able to participate and help.

A Dark Laugh

“Blessed is the one who does not… sit in the company of mockers” Psalm 1:1 All societies are broken and build up walls and divide between the “haves” and the “have-nots”. In Russia, the “have-nots” are very visible. In front of our home is a group of destitute homeless beggars who depend on the large foot-traffic at our intersection. The route I take to language school is the route frequented by disabled veterans of the Chechen wars begging to make ends meet. The most disturbing aspect of this public display of brokenness is found in the public apathy and disdain that is shown towards these realities in Russia. We recently read an article that declared a dead man laid across a busy public bus stop bench for hours before anyone took the time to call the authorities. I have recently seen several situations where drunken men, or homeless hobos, were publicly mocked and scorned. The stigma attached to the poor in Russia is perhaps most apparent in the stamps that are placed in an orphans passport and ID. Employers and all who need access to an orphans ID know up front that these individuals grew up in an orphanage and are therefore most likely “invalids” in society’s eyes. You can imagine then what shame an orphan feels and the tragedy that the poor find themselves in here in Russia. In my opinion our willingness to mock the poor and the downtrodden is a self-defense mechanism we display. All of us know that we are among the “haves” only because of a few small circumstances. Things could have been different, even for us. We want to forget this fact and pretend that we are somehow special and self-sufficient. The fact is we need someone outside of ourselves to support us and see us through. We are dependent on God, he is our only trustworthy source and foundation. In fact, in Christ we are called to be like him and actually identify with and minister among the down and out. So, let us not sit among the scoffers, but instead follow Christ into the trenches where his grace truly shines brightest.

Will they take the risk? We have had several conversations recently with Harbor staff and have heard over and over how difficult it is for a Russian orphan to take the leap of faith required to follow Jesus Christ. These kids truly have the cards stacked against them. For instance, The Harbor's girl apartment recently lost a resident who must have felt like the structure and the rules of The Harbor just aren't what she wants. Anya and I met this girl and saw immediately how cocky and arrogant she could be. Like most 19 year-olds, orphans display this cockiness as a defense mechanism desperately trying to hide insecurity brought on by the fact that they have to become an adult, and quick. Unfortunately, in an orphan's case, rejecting all authority, running away from structure and discipline, and doubting that anyone could love you enough to want to help is a deadly game. Where will our lost resident go? God only knows and we pray that God would go with her and draw her close to himself. Ultimately, the questions that our resident's face are not questions that are foreign to us. There is a real question of risk we are faced with as we grow older. Will we give up on ourselves? Will we submit to the fact that we don't know it all and will never know it all ourselves? The Harbor will fail every time if we think that building up a kid's self-confidence will help them navigate their lives. Our confidence has to be built upon something much more firm and stable than our own ability to make a way for ourselves. Liberation to live life with gusto and abandon...Freedom to take the risks necessary to live in our complex world can only be found in knowing we are loved unreservedly by a Father who knows all our failures, inadequacies and doubts. The question our resident's face is something we must ask ourselves, "Will we take the risk; will we admit we need others and will we admit we need Christ in us and with us?".